O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
