she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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