You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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