I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize