So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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