Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There was a lot of him and a little penis
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
