Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
