I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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