I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize