We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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