i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize