Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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