How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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