she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
