we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
