I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
