unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
