You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
