my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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