one two three fourrrrnication!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
