Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
