i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
