Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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