it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
