We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
