Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
