i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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