On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
