In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
