two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
