Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
