Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
