she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
