The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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