I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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