yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
