RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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