i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
