this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
