Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
