yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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