why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
