Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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