You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
