shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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