It's like God shit irony all over that family
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
