we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
