i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
