my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
