im six kinds of drunk right now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize