Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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