I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
