Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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