you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
