Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
