Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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