my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
