i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
