we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
