Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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