I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
