It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
