No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
