it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
