I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
