What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
