so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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