the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
