You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
