There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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